that thing

I went for a run tonight despite the smoky haze here in the Pacific Northwest. I just couldn't stay inside any longer. I couldn't find my earbuds yet craved music so I just let the music play from my phone. As the music spilled out on to the sidewalks and pavements of my neighborhood, I couldn't help but smile as "What a Beautiful Name" by Hillsong and other worship songs played out for all to hear. 

I barely started my run when I thought of this blog post. I had just been talking with my twin sister about how much God has changed my heart in the last five years. And honestly, it's because I trust God more now than I did then. This should be obvious enough - as Christ followers, we are supposed to be growing in our faith and deepening our walk with Him over the years. Yet lately, it's been so profound for me to look back on my reactions to certain situations five years ago and my reactions now - and how my peace and rest indicate a deeper trust and closer walk with Him. Things that had me worried and fearful five years ago now don't shake me at all. The difference has been that five years ago I was more often praying from a place of "God, please let my will happen" and then trying to control things and make it so. Now, I pray from unprecedented levels of surrender and submission in my walk with Christ - crying out for His will to be done and joyfully accepting His will even if I would write the story a different way: "God, please, please let Your will be done and not mine!" 

It's not always easy, of course. But when you trust your Heavenly Father with all of your heart, when what He chooses for you is different than what you would have chosen - instead of feeling sad or disappointed (like before), your heart is settled in that you asked for God's will and you can have confidence that your good, good Father would never give you less than His best. 

I've entitled this post "that thing" because I want you to think about that one area of your life you might be super stressing over right now - that circumstance that keeps you up at night, that dream that seems impossible, that situation that you wish you could resolve with a snap of your fingers. What is "that thing" for you? What if you just radically, absolutely, completely and totally trusted God with it? What if you stopped trying to control it or work it out in your own power and casted your care fully onto the Father AND rested knowing that He was working on your behalf? What if you believed that God loved you so much more than you could ever realize and that He always has your best in mind? Even in this?  

Dear friends, please choose to trust Him with "that thing" in your life. I don't know what it is, but Jesus does. He's not some Santa Claus just waiting to fulfill your wishlist - but He does care about what you care about. And in all things - in all things - He is praying for your best. The Bible says that Jesus prays for us. He is praying for you right now. Don't let unbelief or doubt or worry or anything else get in the way of your trust in Him. You can trust Him because He took the cross for you. He paid your ransom. He died in your place. He rose again so that you could have restored relationship with God. In light of all of this - is "that thing" really too hard for Him? Really? Of course not. Nothing is. Trust Him, friends. Five years from now, you'll be so thankful that you did. 

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for always having my best in mind. Thank You for always loving me unconditionally - even when I don't trust You like I should and fight Your will. Forgive me for the times when I have insisted that I knew best. You alone know what is best for me. I see that now. I only want Your will. I ask for Your will in all areas of my life. And I surrender "that thing" - that dream, goal, hope, fear, worry, disappointment, circumstance, etc. - totally to You. You are sovereign. You are in control. You are good to me. I ask for Your will to be done regarding "that thing" and I trust Your plans. I release my grip and grasping for control because You are my good, good Father. I love You with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. By faith in Jesus, I praise You in advance for the glorious things You will do regarding "that thing." In Jesus' mighty, holy, and sovereign Name, Amen. 

Love always, 

Colleen

Romans 8:32

nothing looked for in return

Hey, friends! 

For this post, I want to talk about how we love other people. This has really been on my heart lately. I think it's vital that we approach all of our interactions with others from a place of kindness and understanding. Everyone's been hurt one way or another and sometimes we bring those experiences into new situations and let them color our future friendships and relationships. 

But the Bible says that love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). If we go around with a list in our minds of all the ways we've been let down or disappointed by others, we'll be fearful about letting our guard down and trusting others. And this is not a healthy way to live. C. S. Lewis himself said that, "To love at all is to be vulnerable." I recently heard another quote that said that, "True love begins when nothing is looked for in return." This might sound completely backwards until you realize the truest form of love - God's unconditional love for us in sending Jesus to the cross to die for us WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS (Romans 5:8). God didn't wait for us to accept Him before He accepted us. True love doesn't concern itself with its own pride, it doesn't put itself first, it's not afraid to lavish affection - because it's not about what you are GETTING, but what you are GIVING. 

Understanding God's great love for us sets us free to love others without strings attached, without expectations, without demanding a certain response. God desires us to come into relationship with Him by accepting His love and believing in what Jesus did on the cross. But our refusal of this won't stop God from loving us. Atheists are still being pursued by God - even in their blatant rejection of Him. Every single person on this planet is being pursued by the love of God. Whether or not you realize it, right now God is chasing down your heart and longing for you to receive His love. 

As Christ-followers, those of us who have responded to God's love, we must always believe the best about others. This doesn't mean that we are not wise or discerning in our relationships, but I believe it's imperative that we extend people the benefit of the doubt. We give without expectation. We speak words of life over those around us. We extravagantly show love and kindness to those around us - not because they deserve it or earned it or treated us well - but because Jesus died for them. Every single person you meet is made in the image of God and fiercely loved by Him and this alone compels us to love them - because God loves them. 

If I can give you one tip to improve all of your relationships, it would be this: Love unconditionally. Give without expecting to get. Love without expecting to be loved. Forgive (again, and again, if you have to) without an apology. Believe the best even when you're tempted to cast judgment. Give grace when you don't understand. In short, love your friends, your spouse, your significant other, your parents, your family members, your neighbors - love them with Christ's love. Ask the Holy Spirit to empower you to love like Jesus loves. 

This is how He loves: 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for Your extravagant love! Thank You for loving me when I have failed to love You in return, while I was still lost in my sin. Empower me by Your Holy Spirit to love as You love - to love others like Jesus loves them. Fill my heart to the overflow so that the way I love others points them to You. Do not let me ever keep lists of wrongs or build walls against my heart. Do not let me be afraid of being vulnerable, of loving. In every situation and circumstance, to every person that crosses my path, let me show them the love and kindness of Jesus. Let His love open their hearts to Your perfect love and change them from the inside out. Let no one ever know me without experiencing Your love. Enable me to live out the unconditional love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for Your glory, honor, and praise. In the mighty, holy, sovereign, perfect Name of Jesus, Amen. 

My will or Thy will?

Recently, I suffered through an unnecessary disappointment. I say unnecessary because I kind of felt like God was telling me to make one choice, but then I chose the opposite. It wasn't clear and instead of really seeking God before moving forward, I jumped in. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, but I proceeded even when I didn't feel God's peace. In this case, I relied on my own understanding, trusted in my own plans, and then, the situation didn't work out. Shocker. 

Looking back, I could tell that God was trying to protect me from this disappointment. Through this experience, I learned again (I've learned this lesson before...) that even if something might seem good, that doesn't mean that it is God's best for you. There was nothing wrong about the opportunity in and of itself; it just wasn't what God wanted for me. I think sometimes we can get this idea that every thing that's good - whether it be an open door, relationship, achievement, promotion, etc. - is always from God. And yet going through this experience, I discovered at a deeper level that God's will for us may require us to say no to something that we see as good. That's why we need to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). 

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." In this case, I trusted in my own heart and I leaned on my own understanding - and it led to a hurtful place. I pushed past the peace of God and relied on my wisdom and understanding. It led me to a disappointment that God didn't want me to go through. There was a reason for the lack of peace and the confusion - God was speaking to me. Yet I chose to continue. 

But you know, what? God's grace has been so inextricably and beautifully evident. So many good things have come from this - too many to count! The most amazing have been the lessons I have learned about God's heart towards me. God doesn't walk away when we get it wrong. No, He runs to us. "There's no shadow You won't light up, mountain You won't climb up, coming after me. There's no wall You won't kick down, lie You won't tear down, coming after me." 

When I repented, asking God to forgive me for trusting in my own understanding and, as the Bible says, I drew nearer to God, He drew near to me. He held me as I grieved and walked through this disappointment. He spoke tenderly to my heart and reminded me of His character - that He knows best, that He sees the end from the beginning, that His will for me is always better than my will. Always. 

That last part was hard for me because sometimes I really think I know best! Going through this reassured me again that I do not know best. It's humbling, but in our humility, we see the foolishness of relying on ourselves. We are not God and we cannot lead our lives. We need the counsel of the Holy Spirit to lead us. We need Jesus desperately. And that's how God designed life - so that we need Him, stay in constant communion with Him, and grow in our relationship with Him. 

I'm writing all of this because I want to encourage you to trust God with the good things that may cross your path. Seek His will in all things. Pray about what He wants you to do. If you feel a check about something, ask God about it and don't proceed (seriously!) if you believe that He's leading you in a different direction. Even if everything looks awesome, don't just say yes because of what you can perceive. God sees everything. 

What do you do if you've already started walking down a path you now realize in your heart is not God's will for you? I was just there, my friend. Stop, get on your knees, repent, and pray for God's will to be done in the situation. When you surrender like this, He'll often suddenly interrupt or halt your plans and significantly change your course. And it might hurt. Tears may fall. It could be really hard because He might empty your hands of something. Take heart and rejoice - even in the midst of your pain because God will use this for your good. I promise you. He's that good. He's that good! He takes our mistakes and makes something glorious out of it. I don't know all that ways He does it; I am in awe of God! 

Disappointment is absolutely no fun. Not at all. However, seeing God take this and not only bring good things out of it but bring me closer to Him? Well, that's just left me incredibly awed by His infinite wisdom, power, and love. 

I've written a prayer if you're walking through something and need to surrender to His plans: 

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank You for Your wisdom, power, and love. Thank You for working all things in my life together for my good and for Your glory. I repent if there is any area of my life where I am insisting on my own will over Yours. I ask that Your will would be done in every single area of my life. I realize this is a bold prayer, but I am unafraid because Your Word says that Your will is good, pleasing, and perfect. I may need to say goodbye to some things or some people. I may need to let go. I may be disappointed at first. Please help me to trust Your heart towards me and to be led by Your Holy Spirit. Change my heart and make me desire Your will always above my own. Empower me to obey Your promptings and Your peace. From this day forward, I say "yes" to Your will for me in all things. I look forward to this adventure with you! Be glorified in me! In Jesus' Name, Amen. 

Get excited because God's will is best! Take heart, friends and don't get discouraged. God's plans for you will amaze you! 

Love always, 

Colleen

Matthew 7:11