Blackberries and Dijon - Baking and blogging through Shauna Niequist's book, Bread & Wine

I went to the library yesterday to type up my book proposal and I left with an unexpected surprise. After a couple hours of typing away, getting closer and closer to making this book come to life one day - realizing more and more how much perseverance and courage you need to become an author - I paused for a moment to check out a few books before I left. 

One of the first places I look at the library (or bookstore) is always at the faith section. Since my book is non-fiction and about my faith in Jesus Christ, I love to hear what others are also saying and writing about, listening in and joining in on the conversations they're having. 

I was super excited to find a book by one of my favorite authors on the shelf - extra happy because it was one I hadn't read yet! I've been following Shauna Niequist ever since I first read Cold Tangerines when I was in college. I love how she writes with so much description and detail, making even the most mundane and routine things in life seem gloriously important and significant - because they really are. Every part of our lives matters to God - not just when we stand on a stage and share our story, or when we publish our book and see it in the bookstore, or when we walk down the aisle and say "I do." Those moments might matter more than washing the dishes after dinner, going for a run around the neighborhood at sunset, or interrupting your schedule to have a simple conversation with a neighbor, but everything matters to God. And when we choose to notice His presence - not in just the moments we deem important, when we choose to see the importance of every moment because it's a gift from Him, we are able to see the glorious invade the everyday life. And that's truly what makes life with God so extraordinary. 

On the shelf was Shauna's book, Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table. Finding it there after working on my proposal was such a blessing, a gift from God. Shauna is one of my biggest inspirations. I remember reading her book, Bittersweet at the Borders bookstore at the mall (when they still had those at the mall) over four years ago. The idea for the book I'm working on right now was in my heart then, but it seemed so far away. Her words and encouragement made me believe deep down in my heart that it would happen, even if it was a dream that stayed a dream a little while longer before becoming a reality. 

Thinking back to that moment now, I am utterly astonished with God's grace and guidance to get me here. I couldn't have planned any of this and I certainly didn't. I told God my dream to write a book and get it published, but I always prayed for His will to be done, His kingdom to come. It's truly remarkable: time goes on and we live each day, being faithful with the seasons and the people He brings into our lives - and all the while, He's behind the scenes writing a story and directing our path in ways we never could have imagined. As we are simply faithful with each 24 hours He's given us when we wake up to a brand new day, He takes all of our daily choices - even the littlest ones - when we decide to be brave and apply for a position as a writer at the school newspaper that leads to becoming Editor which prepares me to write this book. And it all started with an email, a conversation, a moment of bravery. 

God's Word says that He shows Himself faithful to those who are faithful...and it's a steady unfolding over the course of our lives, a tapestry woven at midnight that's yet to be seen, a symphony played over the span of years. And it is so beautiful. I know I use that word entirely too much. Beautiful is probably my favorite word in the English language. God is beautiful, He makes life beautiful, His glory is beautiful. Beautiful. That word encompasses so much and I could try to explain what life following Jesus is like in other terms. I could break out a thesaurus and write down a bunch of synonyms. But I won't. Because as often as I say it, as simple as it sounds, it doesn't make it any less true or powerful. Life following Jesus is and always will be beautiful. 

When I got home, I set down my purse and my stack of books from the library, and immediately opened up Shauna's, Bread and Wine. Reading her writing is like a conversation with a good friend, and even though we hadn't talked in a while, it was like no time had passed. That same voice that encouraged me when I was in my early twenties, beckoning me to write, to share, to tell my story, to believe in my dreams, - to write, to be a writer, to be an author. That same voice was still encouraging, still inspiring. Not just me, but countless others. I love how God allows our lives to bless each other - so often without our knowledge. I don't know Shauna and yet her story has impacted mine. I'm sure there are people who have been impacted by my story - people I went to college with, those I keep in touch with on Facebook, Twitter followers I've never met. And somehow God could be reaching them, helping them through my story, my life - in ways I'll never know. That's why I write. I pray that my life reaches more than I know for God's glory. That's what our lives are for. Our stories intersect and overlap and God uses each of us to strengthen each other along the journey. 

The first chapter ends with a recipe for Blueberry Crisp. I had wanted to pick blackberries later in the day, something I do every August - a tradition my mom started when I was just a little girl. We would always do that before school started. So I planned on making the recipe, adapting it a little - a blackberry crisp instead. And being the overachiever I am, or maybe not that but because I wanted to truly enjoy this book (instead of read through it as fast as I can), I decided that I am going to bake, cook, create each recipe at the end of the chapters. And I told myself that I can't read the next chapter until I make the recipe from the previous one. Why not?

I've been blogging about praying for my future husband and I will continue that series along with this one. Who knows - maybe my future husband is out there praying that I'm a good cook and that I know how to bake! Thanks to my mom's excellent cuisine over the years, I know he won't starve with me. But I could brush up on my skills in the kitchen and learn a couple new things (or a lot) in the process. I feel a little bit like Julie from Julie and Julia, where she decides to cook through one of Julia Child's cookbooks. 

What I love is that most of the recipes are gluten-free or easily adaptable. I've been eating, cooking, and baking gluten-free for about a year and a half right now and I LOVE it! Sometimes I feel sad when I go to the grocery store and it seems like everything has gluten in it, but the health benefits are awesome and I wouldn't change it! 

Last night, I made the blackberry crisp and it was delicious! 

The recipe calls for 4 cups of fruit. The topping ingredients are pictured below: 1 cup of old-fashioned oats, 1/2 cup almond meal (I ground up almonds in a food processor - a delicious substitute for flour), 1/2 cup raw unsalted pecans chopped, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup olive oil (I used Bertolli's extra light), and 1/2 teaspoon of salt. 

Mix all the crisp ingredients together: 

Sprinkle over washed and dried berries in an 8 inch by 8 inch baking dish. 

Bake at 350 for 35 to 40 minutes until the fruit is bubbling and the crisp topping is golden. 

Enjoy with some vanilla frozen yogurt! 

This afternoon, I made the next recipe in her book, Mini Mac and Cheese! I couldn't find gluten-free elbow macaroni as the recipe called for, so I substituted gluten-free penne, one of my favs!

I used about 2/3 of the box of pasta, 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, 2 Tablespoons of butter for the cheese sauce, and about 1 Tablespoon for coating the muffin tins, 1 Tablespoon of Dijon mustard, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1 cup of grated Parmesan cheese (the recipes calls for only 1/2 cup, but I found I needed more), 1 egg yolk, paprika to sprinkle on top when they're done, and hot sauce. 

First, brush the muffin tins with the melted butter and sprinkle the grated Parmesan on the bottom of the muffin cups. 

Melt the butter and cheese together, whisk until smooth. Add Dijon, egg yolk, salt, 2 dashes of hot sauce and whisk. Stir in pasta until evenly coated. 

Scoop the pasta into the muffin cups and sprinkle a little more grated Parmesan on top of each before putting into the oven. Bake at 425 for 10 minutes (the recipe says 12 to 14 minutes, but 10 worked the best for me). 

IMPORTANT TIP: Allow mini pasta cups to cool for at least 10 minutes before removing them from the muffin tins. They will set up as they cool and will be easier to get out of the pans. 

They were super yummy and it was a fun recipe because I hardly ever make mac and cheese. Sprinkle with a little paprika on top. Perfect for a dinner party, appetizer dish, or lunch paired with a green salad. 

I flipped them over and took this picture so you could see how they set up and are actually little pasta cups. So cute! 

Bonus: I found this video of Shauna making the blueberry crisp from her book. So fun! 

Hope to update soon with the next couple recipes! Thanks for reading! Happy baking and cooking! 

The Way Jesus Looks At Me

The way the groom looks at the bride with such love and devotion. This is always my favorite thing about weddings.  

I went to a wedding yesterday and as the couple danced together for the first time as husband and wife, I sat there awed by their genuine love for each other as they gazed into one another’s eyes. On this day they've dreamed about for so long and this day they'll remember the rest of their lives. 

Seeing this made me think about the day when I’ll be the one dressed in white and my husband will be looking back at me with that look.

I’m twenty-six now and at the age where I’m closer to marriage and family than I’ve ever been. It’s exciting, but also surreal. It's always seemed so far off and now somehow, it's closer than ever. 

Yet God is so gracious and His timing is always perfect. I know with all of my heart that He is preparing me for that season whenever He wants it to begin. God has taught me so much as I’ve waited on Him and because of my close relationship with Him, I know that I will be an amazing wife and mommy one day for His glory.

God has been teaching me so much about trust, faith, living by the power of the Holy Spirit, and stepping into His plans and purposes for my life. I wouldn’t trade what I have learned for life according to my time table or a ring on my left hand right now.

Probably the greatest lesson I’ve learned as a single is that Jesus Christ completes me. Not a man. Not my future husband. No one except Christ. It took me some time to really get this. It’s one thing to say it, but another thing to really, truly believe it.

Jesus’ love completes my heart. While I look forward to my wedding day with great excitement, my hope is not in that day or in the man I’ll marry. My hope is in Jesus Christ alone. Jesus is the reason why my life is beautiful, why I smile, why I have joy, why I have purpose, why I can trust God with the future - anything good in my life is because of Him.

Since I gave my heart to Jesus Christ when I was five years old, He has never failed to protect it from this world; to heal it when it was broken; to fill my heart with God’s love, forgiveness, and joy; and to strengthen my heart again and again.

And because of His unending faithfulness in my life, I trust that when He sees fit, He will open my heart up to the one man that He has chosen and prepared for me. And that's worth waiting for. 

I look forward to meeting my future husband, seeing how God writes our love story, and living life together for God’s glory, but I am living fully today. Today as a twenty-something single follower of Jesus.

I think it can be so easy to want to bypass the seasons of becoming and fast forward to the seasons of doing. As I’ve journeyed through my twenties, I realize that much of this decade is about becoming before doing. And while we want to run after everything God has put in our hearts – sometimes all at once - there is great wisdom in waiting on God’s timing and allowing Him to grow us, prepare us, and position us to do what He created us to do. To enjoy the journey and see the beauty in the becoming and not just the results. We often act like it's up to us to fulfill everything that God made us for, but we need to rely on Him, love Him and love the people He has put into our lives, and obey Him and humble ourselves before Him in holy fear. That is most important. 

Right now, God is helping me become the woman I need to be in order to be the wife my future husband needs and to be the mother my future children need. And while I look forward to walking down the aisle and later on holding my baby in my arms, there will be a time for all of that. These todays will lead to those tomorrows. That time will come and it will be beautiful. Just like this season is beautiful.

Today and always, I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. And through all the seasons of my life, He is looking at me with love. His gaze is what fills my heart with so much joy and peace.

Dear friend, wherever life finds you at this moment, know that He looks at all of us this way. He loves each of us with the greatest love imaginable. The love of God in Christ is infinite and life-changing. I pray that you know His great, great love for you. Single, dating, or married, trust that the God who loves you, knows every detail of your life, and cares about you exceedingly has good plans for your future. Surrender to His perfect plans, seek His kingdom, love Him with all that you are, and let Him lead you along the narrow road - for the best version of our life - the full and abundant life Christ promised - is only found following Him. 

Blessings, 

Colleen

 

Lord, help me love this way, to love like You love: 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV  

 

Check out this song "Ever Be" by Bethel. Thought it was perfect for this post. Love the message of this song and the descriptions of God's faithfulness. His praise will ever be on my lips! 


Why I Write

I write because I believe with all of my heart that God has given me a gift for writing and a passion to use this gift to encourage others. I love sitting in front of a blank computer screen, expectant and hopeful, praying with all my heart that God will give me the words to reach someone else with His love, grace, and Truth. It is my greatest joy to let Him use my life to bless others and glorify Him.

That happened last week in a really cool way. And I haven't gotten over it. 

Last Saturday afternoon, I was typing out my last blog post "Letting Go of Offense." I had been meaning to sit down and write that post for weeks. Weeks. But I had been working on another project and just never had the time to write out what was on my heart. I had a little free time last Saturday so I took out my laptop and started typing. 

I'm literally seconds away from posting it when my computer completely dies. Ugh. When you're in "the flow" as they call it, this is super frustrating. As much as technology helps us, when it fails us, it is really awkward. You find yourself digitally stranded, an Internet connection or computer battery delaying the text, tweet, post you want to share. That. Very. Moment. 

The reality was that my computer just needed a break. So instead of getting upset or frustrated at the situation, I tried to see God in my circumstance. Past the disappointment of not being able to check it off the to-do list for that afternoon, I knew that God was inviting me to trust His timing in the situation. Could it be that there was a divine reason behind it all? Maybe God didn't want that post to be published that afternoon? After already waiting several weeks to post it, I really didn't want to wait any longer, but is it really about me and my timing? I've learned to trust God in His timing and to look for Him in those interruptions and inconveniences. So I purposefully chose to not get frustrated, but to trust that God was working. 

After praying about it and giving my cares to God, I was at peace with postponing it just a little longer. It didn't come to my mind again until the following night, just before I was about to go to sleep. I heard God whisper to my heart, reminding me of the post and that it was finally time to post it. Now? I thought. It's Sunday night, it's late, and I'm tired. I have an important event tomorrow. I need my beauty sleep.

Excuses, excuses. 

I am grateful that God is greater than my excuses. 

I knew that the Holy Spirit was prompting me to publish this blog post. I couldn't shake it. I've walked with God long enough to know that my way is not the best and there is only peace in following God's ways. Obeying Him is always the best decision and the only one that leads to peace. So, while I didn't know why it had to be posted at that exact moment, I trust God and want to always be quick to obey, especially in the little things. Because if we don't listen in the little things, if we are not faithful to be obedient to the small things, we will not be trusted with greater things. 

So it's after 10:00pm and I'm sitting in front of my laptop, doing final edits on the post. I'm praying that God uses it to encourage anyone who reads it and that God would be glorified in everything I share (I'm praying that for this post right now, too). It takes me a little longer than I expected, but soon it's done. I don't always do this, but that night, I decided to post my blog link on my Facebook page for my friends to read. 

Less than five minutes of posting it to Facebook, I receive a message from a friend: 

"Colleen, thank you SO much for that blog post! It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Thanks for always being such a light--you have no idea the impact Jesus is using you to make! :) " 

Praise God! God is so good! 

I was so surprised and amazed at God's timing! This friend not only read this post, but was kind enough to share that it blessed them. And this was so encouraging and awesome to hear because the whole timing of the post had been delayed and delayed and then finally it was time and within just a couple minutes of posting it, I found out why. That friend needed to hear those words that night. Not Saturday afternoon. Not two weeks prior. That very night. And God wouldn't let my computer cooperate the day before and He wouldn't let me sleep that night until it was posted when He wanted it so that this person could see it right then. The love of God is so beautiful! There is nothing more spectacular than witnessing God working in my life moment-by-moment so that He can reach others with His love through my words. 

God is truly amazing!

I share all of this because I want to encourage you to be sensitive to those little delays, surprises, and interruptions this week. Maybe they're not the inconveniences that you think they are; maybe they're the rhythms of God's grace slowing you down or speeding your schedule alone. Don't trust in your timing and don't rely on your schedule. Allow God to rearrange things if He wills and trust that your times are in His hands. Because they are. Every second of your life is under His sovereignty. Our days are in His control. His timing is so perfect. 

Friends, life is so exciting when you live for Jesus and His glory! Wow! 

"All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:16, NIV