I went for a run tonight despite the smoky haze here in the Pacific Northwest. I just couldn't stay inside any longer. I couldn't find my earbuds yet craved music so I just let the music play from my phone. As the music spilled out on to the sidewalks and pavements of my neighborhood, I couldn't help but smile as "What a Beautiful Name" by Hillsong and other worship songs played out for all to hear.
I barely started my run when I thought of this blog post. I had just been talking with my twin sister about how much God has changed my heart in the last five years. And honestly, it's because I trust God more now than I did then. This should be obvious enough - as Christ followers, we are supposed to be growing in our faith and deepening our walk with Him over the years. Yet lately, it's been so profound for me to look back on my reactions to certain situations five years ago and my reactions now - and how my peace and rest indicate a deeper trust and closer walk with Him. Things that had me worried and fearful five years ago now don't shake me at all. The difference has been that five years ago I was more often praying from a place of "God, please let my will happen" and then trying to control things and make it so. Now, I pray from unprecedented levels of surrender and submission in my walk with Christ - crying out for His will to be done and joyfully accepting His will even if I would write the story a different way: "God, please, please let Your will be done and not mine!"
It's not always easy, of course. But when you trust your Heavenly Father with all of your heart, when what He chooses for you is different than what you would have chosen - instead of feeling sad or disappointed (like before), your heart is settled in that you asked for God's will and you can have confidence that your good, good Father would never give you less than His best.
I've entitled this post "that thing" because I want you to think about that one area of your life you might be super stressing over right now - that circumstance that keeps you up at night, that dream that seems impossible, that situation that you wish you could resolve with a snap of your fingers. What is "that thing" for you? What if you just radically, absolutely, completely and totally trusted God with it? What if you stopped trying to control it or work it out in your own power and casted your care fully onto the Father AND rested knowing that He was working on your behalf? What if you believed that God loved you so much more than you could ever realize and that He always has your best in mind? Even in this?
Dear friends, please choose to trust Him with "that thing" in your life. I don't know what it is, but Jesus does. He's not some Santa Claus just waiting to fulfill your wishlist - but He does care about what you care about. And in all things - in all things - He is praying for your best. The Bible says that Jesus prays for us. He is praying for you right now. Don't let unbelief or doubt or worry or anything else get in the way of your trust in Him. You can trust Him because He took the cross for you. He paid your ransom. He died in your place. He rose again so that you could have restored relationship with God. In light of all of this - is "that thing" really too hard for Him? Really? Of course not. Nothing is. Trust Him, friends. Five years from now, you'll be so thankful that you did.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for always having my best in mind. Thank You for always loving me unconditionally - even when I don't trust You like I should and fight Your will. Forgive me for the times when I have insisted that I knew best. You alone know what is best for me. I see that now. I only want Your will. I ask for Your will in all areas of my life. And I surrender "that thing" - that dream, goal, hope, fear, worry, disappointment, circumstance, etc. - totally to You. You are sovereign. You are in control. You are good to me. I ask for Your will to be done regarding "that thing" and I trust Your plans. I release my grip and grasping for control because You are my good, good Father. I love You with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. By faith in Jesus, I praise You in advance for the glorious things You will do regarding "that thing." In Jesus' mighty, holy, and sovereign Name, Amen.
Love always,
Colleen
Romans 8:32